Sunday 21st February 2016

Ok, so it is currently midnight on my final night at home before I return to school tomorrow after February half term. My past week or so:

The main notable things I have done in the last couple of days include 3 auditions. The first was 2 weekends ago when I went to Cambridge to audition for the National Youth Musical Theatre. The day consisted of 3 one hour and 45-minute sessions: drama, singing and dance/movement. I began with dance in the morning then drama in the afternoon followed by singing. Initially I though the day was going quite well, I can honestly say I'm not very good at dancing but I tried my best and I'm hoping that showed. The drama in the afternoon was fine with a lying game (which I wasn't good at) then some improv. I was in a two with another girl and our improv was basically me talking about being raped (not true we were just acting) which as you can imagine was pretty intense. We only did this because one of the plays we were auditioning for was Spring Awakenings so we all had hard subject matter. Anyway, I don't know what the directors though but I didn't think it went too badly. Finally, we had singing which was, in my opinion, my best of all three 'categories'. I sang 'There's a fine fine line' from Avenue Q and basically completely blew the ending (t'was shit) and so I couldn't stop kicking myself as that was the first time I had so spectacularly messed up. Anyway as you can imagine I was not surprised when a couple of days later I received the "thanks but no thanks" email to confirm my suspicions that I wasn't successful. Anyway I had to put that out my mind pretty quickly as I had two more auditions to think about and in actual fact I had only auditioned for NYMT by accident (my dad signed me up thinking it was the same as YMT) and only signed up 5 days before and only found out I had to have prepared a song 3 days before so lets just say I wasn't particularly prepared.

Next was the Youth Musical Theatre. I did this audition last Tuesday in Newcastle. I was staying with my aunt in Newcastle with my older sister the night before as I live in Essex. This audition was 3 hours long and consisted of Drama, Singing and Dance/Movement. Unlike NYMT I do not know my results yet and won't find out until end of March however I have a better feeling about this because again my dance wasn't great but I tried hard and I believe that came across, my drama wasn't perfect but I was enthusiastic, I believe easy to work with and concentrated which I hope are qualities they value and also my singing went well if I do say so myself so I was really happy. Also, at the end on of the auditioners winked at me and I'm not sure how to take this but I'm hoping it's a good sign. I guess only time will tell.

Finally, on Thursday I auditioned in London for the National Youth Theatre (I understand these all sound the same but they are in fact different!). Again I don't know how to judge this. It began with a 3 hour morning workshop however, this was just drama games and improv. I really got stuck in and I'm hoping that it showed I also work well in teams and can concentrate so I hope that came across. Also, in reflection, I maybe could have been a little more outgoing? I dunno. This workshop was really enjoyable and reminded me a lot of my drama course at guildhall over the summer which I absolutely loved and I thoroughly enjoyed being in that environment surrounded by people with the same and love for drama as I have even if it was an audition. In the afternoon I had a 10-minute interview and did my monologue I can't remember the exact questions but I answered them honestly. I did my monologue (Jess from Love and Money) twice (the second time after direction) and I hope I showed that I took that direction on board and that the woman (Julie) saw something in me. Again with this audition I don't find out for ages (8 weeks!!) so I have a while to wait. I do however believe that I tried my best and have no regrets for either this audition or for YMT so no matter the results, at least I know that I tried hard.

Finally I want to mention that after my NYT audition I remained in London with my mum and was joined by the rest of my family (excluding my brother and including my sisters boyfriend) and we went out for supper then to see Miss Saigon which I absolutely adored and exceeded my expectation so I was so happy. Also after the show we were on the street outside and an actor (Toby Regbo, Francis from the TV series Reign) walked past us a couple of times and I couldn't stop staring at him and was so surprised to see him and it really made my day even though I didn't get a picture or autograph (as I couldn't remember his name and he didn't look like he would appreciate me asking and I think he noticed I was eye stalking him) but it was still really exciting and really made my day even better. So yeah that was a pretty good day.

Now I'm going back to school tomorrow (well today now!) which I am honestly not excited about but I guess we'll have to see what the next half of term brings.

Bucket List

• Fall in love (and have sex)
• Travel to every continent
• Write a book
• Raise £1,000 for charity 
• Perform on a national stage 
• Skydive 

To be extended as I see fit

Break Down

Just a quick summary of me:

My name is Ella.
I am 17, British and middle class.
I live in Essex and go to a co-ed boarding school.
I have 2 sisters, a brother, a mum and a dad.
I love: Drama, Music (specifically singing), Reading, Watching TV or Films, Cooking and Sport (specifically Hockey and Skiing).

Introduction

I'm not expecting anyone to read this and if you do I'm amazed because my life isn't exactly exciting but here goes nothing.

I have tried so many times over the years to write a diary, I feel that sometimes I just need to get my emotions out and that a diary is a good way to do it. However, I always get side tracked and give it up and so consequently have a multitude of random entries over the years in various notebooks and diaries. However, now I want to change that and have a place where I really will be honest and I thought what better place than a public blog! Yes, I think I am crazy anyway I plan to write a post at least once a week and to be as honest and truthful as possible. I am not honestly expecting anyone to read this especially anyone I know so hopefully I can be completely truthful with my feelings etc.  However, I am not going to include my most detailed information like where I live etc and I plan on changing names just so I'm 100% sure I'm anonymous just in case. So here goes nothing...

P.S. This has no particular structure to it and is just my thoughts so sorry if it gets confusing.